Truth about the 9/11 Truth Movement

Many people no longer believe the “terrorists are responsible for 9-11″ mantra, in large part due to the Architects and Engineers videos and Truth Movement.  But imagine that those behind 9/11 not only made up the “terrorists with airplanes” story, but also made up the Architects and Engineers/Thermite story, all in an effort to make “the argument” the center of attention and take the focus off the investigation?  Will we ever know who is responsible for this event?  This (below) video was brought to my attention by “blatantprop” in the UK ,whose website  https://abandontv.wordpress.com/  also has some very interesting articles.  See his comments upon my recent post about “9/11 denial”.  (This is why I love comments!  Lots to learn.)

If you are interested in knowing more about this subject and Dr. Judy Wood,

Dr. Judy Wood’s websites  are http://wheredidthetowersgo.com/  and http://drjudywood.com/

 

9/11 Drones

I found the second video below via The Freedom Agenda, and after watching it, I also looked up the September Clues video to watch.

9/11 was the kickoff of the dismantling of America.  I now truly believe that a very meticulous plan was conceived, and continues to play out, which will incapacitate this nation as a world power, and usher in the New World Order.

It is not that I do not believe terrorist are very real and want this country destroyed.  I just believe that the enemy is within the halls of government, and since the desires of the terrorists mesh so nicely with their own ambitions, there is a mutually beneficial cooperation going on between the two elements.

Who would have thought it, but knowing what we now know about drones, these videos make sense.  And so, the “powers that be” had their crisis.  Look at all that took place after that.  Wiretapping, DHS, body scanners, cameras, random searches at checkpoints on highways, monitoring of your e-mails and other online activity, and the move to disarm Americans.  The deliberate devaluing of the dollar, to set the stage for it’s demise as the world reserve currency.   All of society has been duped on a massive scale.  A world elite body behind the scenes orchestrated this “attack” and real people died.  Thousands of them.  Do you think they will stop short of their Eugenics agenda?  If you watched that interview with the satanists on here a couple of days ago, you know that the world elites have the same attitude expressed by these satanists:  No pity for the weak, no compassion, no “use” for the elderly or infirm.  They are just parasites needlessly consuming what they consider their resources.  The weak are disgusting to them and deserve to die.

Those people who go to Bohemian Grove and worship the Owl, who practice Freemasonry, mysticism, who are members of the skull and bones society, Bildeberg, Rosecrucianism, the sacred bloodline and all of it.  They may not be what the “conspiracy theorists” think they are, but it is obvious there is a very real power behind them.  And that power is satan.  When you think of what these videos reveal, when you realize the cold-blooded nature of what was done, how can anyone doubt that?

Lt. Gen. Boykin, Ret. Green Beret: Marxism in America

The commissioning of officers of constabulary force in a time of crisis, provided for in the Obama Healthcare law.  That’s what all the ammunition is for.

See More: http://www.morningstartv.com/oak-initiative/marxism-america-part-ii

H/T Snerdley

The hard things

Do you have that one person in your life that is absolutely miserable, and seems to be compulsively driven to see to it that everyone else around them share that misery?  That is a person who in their heart is rebellious and prideful.  Their conscience accuses them, and they curse their conscience, and justify and defend their attitudes and actions even when they know what the truth really is and that they just don’t like that truth.  Like atheists.  If they really were convinced in their heart that there is no God, they wouldn’t hate the Bible so much.  They know the Bible is true and honest, they just don’t like what it says about them.

Satan is that way.  Satan knows what he threw away but he is so invested in the alternate reality he wishes for, that he can’t afford to ever turn back now.  The best he can hope to do is to make as many as possible as miserable as he is.  The sickening truth that it won’t make his situation one iota better, is irrelevant to his inverted reasoning.

If you have ever been entangled in the web of a manipulator, and abuser, and managed to break free, then you know what I mean when I say that person can get into your head and really mess with your perspective.  We all have vulnerabilities, tender  “needy” places in our spirit and heart, and the manipulators of this world (and other realms) have an uncanny ability to detect those vulnerabilities and exploit them to their own benefit and your detriment.  Do you know that the only way for you to be extricated from the tangled sticky web of manipulation is by way of TRUTH?

That can be very hard to face once the lying manipulator has lured you deep into the maze, spun his sticky threads all around you, bound you up.  You feel like a fool for having believed him, for having fallen for his ways, and the next thing you know, your own pride is working against you as well.  That is the treacherous and insidious nature of sin.  I think one of the hardest aspects of sin and salvation is sorting out how we have this nature we were born with, which leads us to sin, and yet, how we are “guilty” of something that comes “built-in”.  How is that to be reconciled?  Here is how: Before the first man, Adam, brought about the fallen state of man by sin, God had already written His law upon man’s heart.  When we sin, we sin knowingly.  Con-science means “with knowledge”.  So even though it is our nature to sin, we actually still make a “conscious” choice before doing that sin.

Life can be full of hard things and hard choices.  The truth is, we make a lot more choices than we even realize.  Some can seem so inconsequential.  Sometimes we make an unconscious choice merely by failing to make a conscious one.  Who chooses to be a single parent, for instance?  But that circumstance may have been avoided at several intervals along the way.  Like a tiny creek that feeds into a stream, that flows into the river and eventually the ocean, there is always a specific route we did take, and several, in fact innumerable alternate routes we could have taken.

I started out in life with a deeply engrained sense of powerlessness from as far back as I can remember.  A distinct “can’t do” conviction.    It would be easy, here to veer off on a rabbit trail with analysis of my upbringing and my parent’s upbringing.  As a matter of fact this powerlessness did contribute to my vulnerability to a predatory manipulator and some painful years in my early adult life, which in turn did spur that self-analysis.  Self-examination is a good thing only if it leads to self-awareness and if one is willing to admit their own short-comings with willingness to be accountable.  However, endless introspection only amounts to navel-gazing.  If you think “the answer lies within yourself” and that in fact, God lies within self, well then I’d say the master manipulator Satan has accomplished what he set out to do in your case, and can safely move on to other targets.  Your doom is sealed.

The problem with folks today is that they want to trace the roots of their faults back to something external, and then stop there.  “Aha, now we know why I am like I am”.  Puzzle solved!  Well, that’s sort of like going to the doctor to figure out what is wrong, finding that it is a genetic defect that makes you more prone to diabetes, and going on your merry way being relieved to know that “at least it wasn’t my fault”.   NO, NO, NO, that is not the aim.  The aim is to eradicate or at least counter-act the problem.

If you have anger issues because your parents were both abusive, just knowing that is not enough.  Now you have an anger problem.  So what are YOU going to do about it? You are not accountable for them, but you are accountable for you and the “monkey on your back” they passed on to you.  Will you inflict it, in turn, onto others?

I tend to have a powerlessness problem.  Thus I have a responsibility to be aware of this weakness/flaw/vulnerability in myself and consciously work to counter-act it.

Satan knows this about me.  And so at many times in the past he has used this to keep me bound up by circumstances that it was actually within my power to change.  One of his favorite versions of this trap is in the issue of forgiveness.  He likes to convince us that forgiveness on our part requires that there first be some concession on the part of the perpetrator.    Since that is often not forthcoming, and we can’t extract that from the other person, we stay bound up with bitterness which destroys us from the inside-out, stuck under the crush of whatever it was they did to us into perpetuity.

One of my favorite sayings is “when all else fails, change your perspective”. In other words, if you don’t like something, and you truly cannot change it, then you still have the power to change how you choose to see it.

There is not a whole lot I can think of that feels more powerless than finding out my husband has cancer.  (Except maybe finding out he has cancer in December of 2012 when all the uncertainties of insurance coverage under Obama-Care are set to kick in, and when, in fact, I aslo have no guarantee that the very expensive medication I require for treatment of my narcolepsy will continue to be available to me either).  Lots I could worry about right there in that one paragraph alone!

But if there is one thing that I have learned through all of my struggles in life, it is this: there truly are some things we do not have the power to change in our life and we are free to NOT worry about those things that are out of our hands.   It goes back to the old Serenity Prayer by  Reinhold Niebuhr, which I have loved since I was a young girl.  (Yes, I was kind of a deep thinker even back then).

God, grant me grace to accept the things

I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can

and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

So how are we to deal with the hard things?

I know depression.  I lived it for many years.  Being depressed is like lying oxygen-starved on the bottom of a deep pool of water, looking up at those laughing and carefree people splashing and enjoying themselves, and free to climb out and go on with their lives anytime they want to, while you are trapped below, unable to breathe or move, missing in action and they don’t even know it.

I moved through life, did what was expected of me, smiled on cue, but my insides were shards and splinters.

I married the man who date-raped me. Because of that sense of powerlessness.  Because I was brought up to understand that once you lost your virginity and were “damaged goods”, no decent man will ever want you and you have no right to someone pure.  That perspective itself was not an abuse, nor was it directly spoken to me in so many words.  It was just rules devoid of grace.  Rules given without rationale.  A faulty set of guidelines in that it was incomplete.  No one directly spoke to me, taught me in these matters.

When he did what he did, my learned powerlessness did not allow for me to fight or flee.  Instead I froze, and experienced an inner splitting.  I vacated  my own body and pulled my entire “self” inside my head, and shut the door, turned out the lights, pulled the shades.  I didn’t come out again for a good 10 years.  I created the persona who was aloof, daring, rebellious, unfazed.  He had “handled me” and I had “complied”.  He did what all successful manipulators do.  He had already isolated me from all the people in my life who truly cared about me.  And as I have said before, I don’t even think all of that was calculated on his part.  I think he was just doing what a young man with no moral compass does by his sinful nature.

Ten years I was sort of a “dead girl walking”.  It is amazing what you can accomplish on autopilot, though.  Finally got the courage and fortitude to leave.  Finished nursing school.  I guess when you feel like you’ve already lost everything, you are more apt to take a chance and try things.  I mean, I had already failed at life in general.  Or so I felt.  Yes, I blamed myself.  I’d been an idiot to fall for his flattery, and to compromise my own standards due to such a deep-seated need to feel “worthy” of someone’s “love” and attention.  Of course I look back now and know that I was so young.  I was so naiave and unaware of the ways of the world, snares of the flesh, and wiles of the devil.  When you choose to no longer feel the shame and horror and sadness, unfortunately you have also turned off the faucet to joy and happiness.  I can remember sitting in Anatomy and Physiology lab, dissecting the fetal pigs in college, everyone nervous and squeamish and trying not to show it, and the one guy who was “hands-on” was joking around trying to ease everyone’s discomfort.  I can remember feeling my face morph into the unfamiliar shape of smiling and hearing my own laughter, (forgetting my life-sentence for an instant) and then another “voice” reared up accusing, “who do you think YOU are, laughing like regular people, do you forget your shame?”

Folks, that is the accuser of men’s souls.  Satan himself.  Yes I was a believer back then, from the age of 9.  In many ways I think that made it harder.  I felt like “where can you go when Jesus already died for your sins, and then you go and ruin your life?”  See, I had no understanding of sexuality, it’s purpose, its potency, and it’s relationship to my very soul.  I did not understand my own sin nature and that it lives on until the day we leave this body behind.  I had an overblown sense, no actually, a mistaken belief, that once Jesus saved me, it was up to ME to keep that which I had committed unto Him.  It took a lot of years for me to figure out what I was responsible for and what I wasn’t in what took place.  I blamed myself entirely, which often happens in the case of sexual assault.

I guess that history is why I have never sheltered my kids much, and why I talk to them a LOT.  I earned my street-smarts the hard way.  I know the pitfalls of illusion.  I have a strict policy of reality and truth.  I guess that is one reason people come here to this blog.  “Deep and wide and willing to go there, says my tagline”.  No topic really off-limits.  People are starving to death for REAL.

Like some of my Aspergian acquaintances I sometimes struggle with reading people.  When I was young I was too trusting.  Now that I have lived through what I have lived through, I am more cynical and suspicious and guarded with people.  That sounds contradictory, considering the nature of what I am sharing in this post, but note that I do so from behind the safe layers and shield of the written word and an internet server.  Not that I can’t or don’t share these things with anyone in person, but only as the Lord leads, to those who have similar wounds and need to hear.  Because this is understanding that came at a high personal cost.  And there have been some who have trampled carelessly upon my offering when shared, like pearls cast before swine.

I have always had a preference for the imperfect.  I am not drawn to neat patterns, polished surfaces, or symmetry.  I like the idiosyncrasies of slightly eccentric folks, random and quirky compositions, stream-of-consciousness narratives, arguments that clear the air, followed by forgiveness, old houses with character and history, direct and candid speech, people who tell it like it is.

I would rather live a life full of the hard stuff that takes me into the deep murky waters, than live a superficial life dog-paddling the surface the whole way through.

It is the hard stuff that God uses to refine our faith and realize our need for a Savior.   And so it is not with blind faith that I face this new uncertainty of my husband’s cancer.  It is with faith forged in the fire, experience gained in the trenches, with battle scars to show for it.  I don’t consider myself wise or fearless or strong.  I merely made a decision long ago that I refuse to fake it any longer.  I am weak, but HE is strong.  Life serves up much to fear, but God says “fear not, for I am with thee” and courage is not an absence of fear, just a determination to forge on despite it.  As far as wisdom, well, I’ve learned a thing or two, but the catch is, the more you learn, the more you realize how much more you have to learn.  All totaled, that amounts to my being much less resistant to the hard things, knowing ultimately God uses it for our edification and even our fortification.  None of us knows what tomorrow holds.

I know some people whose entire lives have been one horror after another.  So much in life can seem senseless.  But we are truly only seeing God’s tapestry from the underside, all a tangle of threads that crisscross and form no coherent image or pattern.  Some day he’ll show us the other side.

I like this story told by a Sunday School teacher of mine several years ago.  A man was given a backpack by God, and instructed to take a journey, following an old dried up riverbed.  Every once in a while he would be instructed by the Lord to pick up a rock and put it into his sack.  Sometimes he had to stop and rest.  The sack grew heavier even while he grew wearier, but the Lord prompted him onward, and continued to require that he pick up stones here and there and add them to his burden. It all seemed so futile. He often wondered why.  There was nothing about the stones that would indicate they were of any value, and they certainly weren’t much to look at, just tumbled river rocks.

As the man goes along he encounters others on this ascent up the dry riverbed, carrying their own sacks laden with stones.  When they finally reach the end of the journey and find themselves in heaven, God instructs them to empty their sacks.  Out tumble gorgeous stones of every size, color, and radiance.  Jesus goes to each person, gathers his or her individual stones, fashions them into a crown and places that crown on their head.

We seldom take God at His Word.   Not really.  He has promised us that He works everything together for good.  He has told us that we may plan our path but it is really He who directs our steps.  We screw up, sure, pretty badly sometimes, but only to the extent He allows it, and with plan already in place for how He will turn it around and redeem it for our good and His glory.

My friend, do not fear the hard things.  Every tool is designed for a very specific purpose.  Some tools are “multi-functional” and some tools are extremely specialized.  If you feel you have passed through the fire more times than the average person does, perhaps He is honing your edge with a very delicate and crucial purpose in mind.  Tools are not conscious of their purpose.  God is a sculpter, an artist, a physician, a carpenter, an engineer.  He has need of a vast array of tools.

I have finally let go of my need to understand and to just yield myself to His trustworthy hand.  I have to tell you, I have never felt more free.  Sometimes we make “understanding” into an idol.  He says “trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.  Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you, he will not suffer the righteous to be moved.  He who keeps you will not slumber nor sleep!  By strength shall no man prevail.  Commit your way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass.

I don’t need to know.  God is on it!  He has walked the road before us and prepared the way with all the provision we will need.  And some day we will be outside of time, dwelling in eternity, this former life a mere vapor dissolving away into oblivion like a puff of smoke, all pain and tears with it.  That, my friend, is not denial.  It is not that insulting name it-claim-it gospel.   It is merely accepting the grief that comes with human life for what it is, and looking beyond it to the hope found only in Jesus.

The Way Is Narrow

Overwhelming gratitude

The word Thanksgiving occurs 28 times in 27 verses in the King James Bible.  Most often it is in the context of “a sacrifice” and in the other instances it is either in tandem with song, or prayer.

Thanksgiving is not just a Holiday commemorating the pilgrims first celebration of their newfound freedom in America.  It is a heart attitude that makes all the difference in life.  It is best when Thanksgiving is a natural and spontaneous response, but that is something that has been stripped out of our make-up over time here in America where we have “had it so good, for so long” that we take it all for granted.  But thankfulness can be cultivated once again.

Being thankful means living consciously.  That’s another thing most in America have forgotten.  Well, not just Americans, but all of us, most of the human race.  Always plugged in, constant vigilance that we not miss a text or an important news item or in many cases, the latest song, episode of the favorite show, or whatever.  Fill in your own blanks.

I am thankful that my Dad is in heaven with Jesus and with his brothers and sisters and mom and dad, who all went before him and whom he has really missed.  I am thankful we had him here with us, all of my life my Dad was present and he was my Dad.  He was faithful to his wife and faithful as a provider.  How many people can say that of their dad these days?  Our neighbor and dear friend Johnny who died the previous month, too is with the Lord.  I’ve been more attentive of our other dear friend, his widow, who has been like a second mom to me, since then and not taking her for granted as before.  We don’t neglect each other on purpose.  Just like my brothers who live nearby, we know they are there and we can see them anytime, therefore we are often less intentional about actually making that time to see them, and before we know it, they could be gone.

I am thankful that my parents took me to church, and for the many good adult influences I had in my growing-up years.  From neighbors to school teachers and sunday school teachers.  I live in a small town of about 25K residents.  It is about 4 miles in a radius as the crow flies.  That sounds like we are packed in there, but no, it is just a little “factory boom town” that mostly was built up in an era of simplicity, where houses were not gargantuan monstrosities, just simple 2 and three (small) bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, and one bathroom.  For the most part we still have families here whose parents and great-grandparents immigrated here and settled here, and they remain active in maintaining the roots of the town.  There are still lots of families who know one another and speak as they meet at the post office, or will pick up the phone to let someone know if they saw their kid up to no good, and have that be appreciated rather than offense being taken.

There is lots of parental involvement in the schools, although less in middle and high school, and good cooperation between police and citizens and very active neighborhood watches throughout the city.

I am thankful that not everyone has thrown out all of the “old ways” to the extent we have forgotten them, because the longer the Lord tarries, the higher the likelihood that we are going to need to re-learn some of them.  And frankly, it would be hard but that wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Even though I have staunchly stood by the probability that things are on a trajectory which is not going to turn around, in my heart of hearts I do know that with God, all things are possible.  There is possible, and then there is likely.  Still, in the event that enough of us cry out, in genuine mourning over our own sins and that of the church and the nation, and God, who hears and is ever-merciful even in the midst of wrath, He could choose to push the middle East back from the brink, see us through a dark and extremely difficult restructuring period here in the U.S., and maybe restore in us the humble submission to Him with which our Christian forebears initiated this nation to begin with.

Do I want to hang out here on this Earth with things continuing on the road this world is currently on?  NO! Not me, not my kids.  My cry as I see what is happening, is “Come, Lord Jesus” and come quickly.  I am 100 percent NOT a citizen of this world, my citizenship is in Heaven and that future City of the New Jerusalem.  But!  Here is the thing:  Jesus, being yet GOD, :thought it not robbery to be equal with God, But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father”.

You see, when Jesus hung on that cross, He didn’t just die for me, although if I was the only person on Earth, I believe He would have done it just for me.  Jesus who was master over Death, Hell and the Grave, was not KILLED on that cross, though He did most definitely die there.  He died, willingly giving up His life ( the words from His own lips about His life were: “No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again”).  But He did so, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY knee should bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.  It is not God’s will that any should “perish”.  Perish, here doesn’t just mean the natural death of the human body, but the eternal death of permanent separation from God, the source of all life.

I am a sinner.  I understand that I sin because I have the nature of sin in my mortal flesh, like a genetic aberration, it is a condition in my flesh that I am powerless to change.  God is not some stern taskmaster in the sky with a whip who watches like a predatory hawk, for me to slip up and break one of His laws so He can gleefully swoop down upon me with wrath and punishment.  God in His genius, instilled in us a “counterpart” to the law, called a conscience.  He gave the law to act as a mirror to reflect back to us our behaviors and actions and attitudes, and this conscience is like a sensor that reads our actions in light of the law, and if it is working properly, this sensor tells us whether what we are doing is good or is evil.  Notice I did not say “good or bad”.  When Eve and Adam ate of the forbidden fruit in the garden, it was the fruit of “The knowledge of good and evil”.  A baby of 18 months knows good and bad.  But a baby of 18 months has no ability to discern evil.  A baby of 18 months is guileless.  They may poke you in the eye and maybe even inflict real harm, but they in no way had evil intent.  Adam and Eve first walked in the garden with God Himself and in perfect innocence and yes, naivety, like that innocent baby.  Then along came the tempter Satan, and against God’s direct command, Eve and then Adam violated their own consciences and did that which they knew was “wrong”, and in doing so they opened up in themselves a “Pandora’s box” of understanding.  You see, what you don’t know, you aren’t accountable for.  What you do know, you ARE accountable for.  God would have preferred for us not to ever have to “know” firsthand what evil is.  But because He created us in His image with free will of our own, and even with curiosity, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Jesus took not just the sin of myself and other Christians upon Himself on that cross.  He took the entire “phenomenon” of Sin into Himself and became sin, so that sin itself was crucified with Him and in Him on that cross.  Therefore look at sin as a disease such as Cancer.  It literally is a very auto-immune type condition which always ultimately destroys the host.  God has offered the antidote and any fool who chooses not to take, will experience the ultimate end of that “cancer” within himself which is death.  That is WHY the Bible says the wages of sin is death.  Death is not a punishment, so much as it is just the natural course and ultimate end of disease and decay.

I am so thankful that God sent Jesus to take that sin, my sinful state, unto His own body and bear it for me, and conquer it, so that it has no more power over me.  When my Dad breathed his last breath here on this Earth 2 weeks, 2 days, 10 hours and thirty minutes ago, he went immediately into the presence of His Savior and has now seen the face of Jesus!  That is all my heart desires.  I don’t want anything in this world.  Not money, not freedom, certainly not “stuff”, but to be in the actual physical presence of Jesus, and see His face in person!

I know that when we see Him we will fall on our faces in the glory of His Holiness and majesty.  But I also look forward to getting up from that, and just giving Him a hug and saying “thank you” in person.  Thank you for saving me.  Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for all the times You forgave me when I did the wrong thing, and loved me when I was unlovely and unloveable.  Thank you for removing the scales from my eyes and letting me see truth.  Thank you for what You went through on the cross for me.

Because I am thankful, I am grateful for these things, I want others to know Jesus and be saved.  Not because of my own “benevolence toward my fellow man”.  No, seriously, I don’t have the kind of love I ought to have for others.  I am cynical, and suspicious by nature, or, well, maybe by virtue of my life experiences.  I would love to be able to say that I love everyone so much that I want to give them Jesus, and show them “the way” but the honest truth about me is that just as the Bible said would be the case in these last days, my love for people has grown cold.  I find it harder and harder in a world where most people have zero regard for others, where even life itself is not valued, to uphold that standard of love which a Christian is meant to be known by.  Even though I made a conscious choice to “care anyway”, it is a monumental struggle sometimes.  I do care.  And when I see someone hurting, I respond to them, and reach out to them, but find myself counting the cost.

So, if not motivated by love for others, then what is my motivation to tell others the Way?  Is it because I think it will earn me heavenly “points”, a “favored status”, or other rewards?  Nope.  I’m about the most uncompetitive person God ever made.  I’m pretty satisfied with the simple basics even here in the Earthly sphere.  Though the one “reward” I would like to earn is to hear my Lord say “well done, thou good and faithful servant”.

My motivation is this:  If Jesus died for all the sin of every human who ever lived, so that not a single one had to perish, just think about that for a second.  Have you ever been just overcome by the sheer magnitude of evil in this world.  Maybe you watched the tragic loss of life during the Columbine High School Massacre, or even just the unceasing wars.  Aren’t you sick to death of wars?  I know I am.  That is just the evil of one generation.  It can weigh on you and make you feel tired, hopeless and depressed about life.  We most of us love this Earth, nature, the beauty around us and recognize the tragedy of defiling it.  That is just a drop in the bucket of evil, and we “feel” the effects of that and we mourn it.  Jesus had ALL of that evil, all the evil of the Crusades, all the evil of the Holocaust, all the evil of human trafficking, all the evil of slavery, all the evil of the entire history of the human race converged in His body on that cross.  It wasn’t the crown of thorns, the cat of nine tails and multiple lashes which ripped his skin to shreds, nor the pulling out of his beard.  The real agony was to take all of that evil into Himself and then to experience the separation from God the Father in that instant, when God had to turn away and the world went dark for half an hour.  If Jesus did that, for every person who ever lived, what a horrific shame it is, that even one solitary human being ought to go to their death without having had the opportunity to know about it, and choose to receive the benefit of it.  If they reject it, that is their prerogative, but for me as a beneficiary of that kind of grace, generosity and love, to take my lovely “gift” and keep it all to myself and not extend it to others, well that is the most ungrateful act any Christian could ever do.  It is a slap in the face of Jesus in return for what He did.

I am not promoting the movie “The Passion of the Christ” one way or another.  I know it has “doctrinal issues” but it moved me greatly.
There are two parts of that movie that are burned permanently in my memory.  I was a mother of young children when I watched it, and the scene where Mary sees them leading the wounded and bleeding Jesus to Golgotha, and she flashes back to his childhood, when he would get a boo-boo and her mere hugs and kisses could take away his pain, OH how my heart squeezed.  To be the mother of Jesus?  To have raised him from a baby.  Surely, blessed are you among woman, Mary.  Though human and not to be worshipped.  And the most moving part was really a tiny segment.  Jesus has uttered “it is finished” and given up the ghost.  And the camera pans from above, away, up up up, and we are viewing the scene as through a water droplet.  Then the droplet falls and a deluge of rain splashes over the entire scene.  That effect was lost on a lot of people because of the rain.  But that first droplet wasn’t a rain drop, and symbolically neither was the rain itself, meant to be rain, but God’s own tears as He sacrificed His only son.  To recognize the world through a falling tear, you have to have spent some time crying.  I have. Have you?

I have mourned my own sinfulness.  I have mourned the evil in this world and I have mourned and grieved in weeping and tears and pleadings with the Lord over this nation.  And others have as well.

But the loss of freedoms, and even the loss of the greatness of the good old U.S. of A. is nothing, when laid alongside the tragedy of millions who will spend eternity in hell unnecessarily because we didn’t give them the gospel, or because they chose not to receive it.  Your free will is intact.  You can take it or leave it.  But I give you Jesus.  He died for you.  He did not die to give you a better life.  He is not interested in turning you into a “saint” who must forsake all fun and freedom and change everything about your life.  What He has to offer, is completely free and there is nothing you can do to earn it, only believe it and receive it.  That means faith.

“But I just can’t believe all that stuff in the Bible, I mean, Noah’s Ark, a worldwide flood?”

That’s okay.  You don’t have to “know” it for a fact, you can choose faith and take God’s word for it.

“Oh, come on, there are a million and one religions in this world, don’t you think it is just a tiny bit arrogant and closed-minded to think yours is the ‘right’ way?”

This is not a religion I am talking about.  Religion is man reaching, striving, to reach God. Christianity is not a religion.  It is the only belief system wherein God seeks YOU, comes to YOU, and accomplishes the mending of the breach, the divide that is between you and Himself.

A lot of people will say “God is a gentleman” He won’t force you.  No, God is not a gentleman.  What He is not, is a beggar.  And frankly because of that fact, I don’t believe I ought to be either.  Nor should the preacher be.  Nor should the evangelist.  We are not responsible for what anyone chooses.  We are responsible to extend only the truth and the invitation.  The choice is yours, but there will come a day of winnowing.  A day of judging and sorting.    On one side, will go those who acknowledged Jesus as Lord.  On the other, those who did not.  When we are gathered at that judgment bar, there is only one matter that will be weighed, and that matter is, what did you do with Jesus.  Those who remained in their sinful state, reconciled with God via the atoning sacrifice of Jesus, will hear “depart I knew you not”.  But those who are reconciled with God through Jesus will have the blood on their hands, of the lost whom they personally had opportunity to reach, and the agonizing realization that that soul is condemned to hell for EVER, when that Christian might have prevented it.

I don’t want to ever experience that moment.  It is not fair to Jesus.

And so, for my many Christian friends who do not believe in a pre-tribulation rapture, who have questioned me “what will you do when the tribulation starts and you are still here, then what will you do” I say this: I deserve everything that I have coming.  I do see the pre-tribulation rapture in scripture, and I expect it, not because I am under any delusion that I have earned an escape, any more than I deserve the salvation Jesus so graciously has given, or the eternity in His presence I look forward to.  God’s nature is love, and that is why He loves us.  Not because we are so darn loveable, because anyone who is honest will admit we are not.  I don’t know why He loves me, but I know He does.  I don’t know why He saved me, but He did.  I can’t explain everything about salvation and God and how He operates any more than I can explain to you the ins and outs of my car’s engine and transmission and drive shaft, torque, combustion, and all of those principles.  But I don’t have to know all that in order for my car to get me from here to the grocery store.  I just have to have enough faith in my car to get in, insert the key, start the engine, put it in gear and go.

That is how it is with being a Christian.  Like the funny videos I reblogged, we like the Pharisees of old, make things much more complicated than they really are.  It is the faith of a child that saves us.  At Christmas, a 5 or 6 year old kid doesn’t deal with “oh, but I didn’t get YOU anything, and that makes me look like such a loser”, no, he sees a package with his name on it and is immediately filled with excited anticipation and wonder.  When the gift is offered, he receives it eagerly and tears into the wrappers with gusto.  How simple is that?  How pure?

Giving the gospel to others is also as simple as that.  It is our own pride that prevents it being as simple as God made it.  I must not look foolish.  I don’t want them to think me a kook.  To be honest with you, I have never had anyone react to the gospel that way.  Even if people disagree, they generally appreciate the thought behind my sharing.  The recognize it as concern and genuine, even if their opinion is that it is a misplaced or unnecessary concern.  The only people who react negatively are the churched.  Pride rears up in them.  “Don’t tell me about Jesus, I have been teaching Sunday School for Thirty Year, young lady, so you just take your tract and give it to someone who needs it”.

Oh boy, those are the ones I pray for the hardest.  Because even if they are saved, they still have not come to terms with just why they needed a Savior.  Because when you fully realize your own defilement and stench when compared to God’s own Holiness, all pride is obliterated.

Some of us have been “Saved so long” we begin to believe by now we have earn  some credit for our own goodness.  We give Jesus credit for the initial redemptive act, but we intend to retain unto ourselves ”credit where credit is presumably due” for “all that we have done for the Lord” since then.

I hate to break it to you but I don’t care if you are D.L. Moody himself, YOU have done nothing.  God has done it all.  You have merely been permitted the privilege of being a vessel.  Or perhaps you have so thoroughly fooled yourself that God has gone on without you, and you’ve been building houses of straw on foundations of sand and will be among the shocked an appalled who will cry “I healed the sick and cast out demons in your name”, but will hear “depart, I knew you not”.

My friend, I am no one special.  I am a 48 year old mom who has broken all of Gods law.  In me is no good thing.  Like Paul, I am the chiefest of sinners.  I have contributed to the statistics that reflect poorly on Christianity, by divorce, but the words of my mouth, by actions unbecoming.  I am not better than you.  The fact it is likely you are more gracious, more selfless, more charitable, more trusting, more forgiving, and nicer than I am.  Maybe.  Or maybe you are sitting in a prison, guilty of murder or rape or worse.  We are the same, you and me.  The difference between us as far as “how good or bad we are” is as negligible as the physical differences between identical twins.  The difference that makes the ultimate difference, lies solely in whether or not one of us has embraced the pardon freely offered in Christ, and the other has not.  I have received that pardon.  Have you?  I am 100 % positive that like my Dad, when I close my eyes in death here, I will wake up in Heaven with Jesus, or go up to Him in the rapture if that comes first, regardless of it ‘s timing in relation to the tribulation.  Are you?  Do you have that peace? You can.  If you see the truth in what I have said, you see it only because God has witnessed the truth of my words by way of the Holy Spirit and your own “answering” conscience in your heart.  If that is the case, then you need merely to admit that you understand you are a sinner, and ask Him to save your soul by applying His righteousness to you, in exchange for guilt.  You’ll still be a sinner but your sin will no longer be accounted against you.  You will be “reckoned” as righteous by virtue of Jesus having already borne that guilt on the cross and fulfilling the due sentence.  You see, for infinite guilt, you must either have infinite and eternal punishment, or a once and for all punishment must befall an infinite being, in order to be sufficient atonement.  God is your judge, your jury, your executioner.  God has pronounced your guilt and the penalty, which is death, but then He did an amazing, unimaginable thing.  He took off his judges robe, stepped down off the bench, and received the indictment, and served the sentence for you.

But don’t think “well, then I’m covered, there’s nothing more to be done”.  No, it doesn’t work that way.  By grace are ye saved through faith, and that not “of yourself” (doesn’t come from within) but is a gift of God, lest any man should boast.  Even the faith to believe what I have told you, comes from God Himself.  That’s why you “can’t believe it”.  That’s why it seems “too good to be true” and “too easy, there has to be a catch”.  If you are unsaved, God does not even hear your prayers.  There is only one prayer of the unsaved man which God will listen to.  That is the prayer asking to be saved, or the prayer asking for the faith which is needed in order to entertain the plausibility of His offer of Salvation.

If you don’t pray that prayer, you will go on being blind to these truths.  And your literal ticket out of hell will sit at the “will call box” unclaimed and tragically and needlessly wasted, while you spend eternity in hell,  literally having had to walk around Jesus to get there.  Not His “dead body”, for He rose back up from the dead, and that is the other difference between Faith in Jesus, and “religion”.  We don’t worship a dead prophet.  We serve a living Savior and God.

And for that, I am most thankful of all!

As you sit around the table this Thursday, celebrating “Thanksgiving” ask yourself this:  “Who am I thanking?”  Our Holidays don’t need to be hollow and meaningless.  When you sit there on January 1, after partying it up yet another year, or after crying yourself to sleep, at the futility of it all, facing the futility, wishing there was “more to life”, I want you to remember this. Because there IS.  Jesus is real.  God is good and He cares about you personally.  He knitted you together in the womb, He picked out your eye color, deliberately put those dimples there and that freckle here.  He gave you your personality, and your gifts and abilities and has a purpose for you life.  It’s all true.  Do you have the courage to believe it?  Don’t take my word for it.  Ask Him yourself.  He speaks your language.  May you truly be blessed to meet my Savior and discover you are not a random accident of “nature” with no purpose and no hope. Even in face of these troubling times, my heart overflows with hope.

This world is not my final destination, and death is not the end but the beginning.  Praise Almighty God, Elohim, the great “I AM”, the Alpha and Omega, JHVH Jireh, my provider, JHVH Nissi, my banner, JHVH Rapha, my healer.  He never leaves, He never forsakes or abandons, or abuses.  Praise my wonderful Savior!

The Ugly Truth and the Only solution.

The more that I ponder God’s Word, the more acute is my awareness of the potential for vile depravity which lies in human flesh.  The more I know of the dangers of the flesh, the more I long to be shed of this mortal body and this accursed world system.  There are people who are so enamored of darkness, that they have spent their entire lives pursuing it.  When baser appetites are fed, they become baser still.  Like a dog returning to it’s own vomit, they aquire a “taste” for the filth.  The Jerry Sandusky case has all but been forgotten as our attention spans have so shrunken, and our conscious minds are so bombarded with “breaking news” and “catastrophic events” that it is nearly impossible to hold them all in mind without going stark-raving mad.  There has been another case in the news of late, which I have purposely not posted on, until now, and that is the Jimmy Sevile scandal in Britain.  I have not addressed it because there is nothing more diffiult to stomach than the abuse and defilement of innocent children.  The Bible speaks of a cry that arose out of Soddom.  I believe most likely it was the cry of victimized children which propelled God to the limits of His mercy and patience with Soddom and Gomorrah.  Pornography is a horrid epidimic, and it is an established fact that, just as with the serial killer, what starts as a small thrill of “secretly getting away with some evil” eventually it requires something “more evil” to achieve the same thrill, and so the progression from voyeuristic acts, to real-life acts upon opposite sex, then into deviant same-sex interaction, then to children and eventually to bestiality, (which, by the way, was “legalized” in military law along with the overturn of DADT in SB 1867).  If you ever wondered why God so often ordered the Israeli army to destroy even the women, children and flocks and herds, it is because in idol-worship (which is nothing other than Satan-worship) the progression is always the same, and there is nothing new under the sun.  This has been going on for Millennia.

The Sevile case has served to remove any further prospect of remaining in denial or ignorance of just how prevalent and widespread is the epidemic of human sex trafficing.  Why bring up such an unpleasant topic?  Simply put, this is merely a foretaste of the evil which will saturate the entire world once all salt, light, and restraint are removed from the Earth.  Serial rapists and murderers often exhibit a paradoxical fear and loathing of their inner proclivities and urges, the “fault” for which, they project upon their victim, thereby justifying their action in their own twisted minds.  If you find it scary and disturbing to imagine being a young victim of such a predator, (and sadly there are many who will read this who won’t have to imagine) imagine yourself being subject to the very appetites that drive those horrific crimes.  Because taken to it’s extreme, that is precisely what the sin-nature in each of us is capable of, if left to it’s own potential, and particularly when fueled by occult-dabblings and pursuit of things of darkness, such as “dark music” and even seeking of the “experiential” aspects of religion, because there are many deceiving spirits out there ready and waiting to accomodate your desire for signs and wonders and “messages”.

Sexuality was designed by God to be a good and beautiful thing, in it’s access to the very soul and ability to meld two into one flesh.  But by virtue of it’s access to the deepest soul, sexuality is the number one vulnerability Satan targets and pursues in a person, with which to cause the maximal damage and destruction.  Violating that aspect of a person at an age when God never intended for a human to even be aware of it, has such damaging effect as to be able to not only ruin and incapacitate the victim for a lifetime thereafter, but to turn them into a victimizer themselves, even before they reach puberty.

Aside from it’s prevalence in society as a whole, pornography is known to be a huge problem among pastors, and I think it’s been sufficiently established that pedophelia saturates the Catholic church.  With Sandusky we glimpsed it’s pandemic proportions in Academia, but with Sevile, we see how widespread the practice is within the elites of government. Of course the “casting couch” is so taken-for-granted in Hollywood that it’s become a crass joke.  Society has become desensitized.   We shudder to read about the Crusades, and the Gladiators of Rome.  But that is what you get when sin is left unchecked-depravity even in the (apostate) church, and depravity of civilization itself until there is no civilization.  Is that not where we find ourselves today?  One catastrphe away from a world population of brute beasts, acting in the nature of their father the devil, a.k.a.  ”The Beast”.

I don’t generally like to link to Pakalert Press due to the nature of the ads in the margin, but we cannot luxuriate in ignorance and denial.  This is what our world has become and it will only get worse as the UN power and influence expands and the eventual global government takes shape.  The UN “rights of the child” are merely a ploy for elete access to children for their own evil purposes.  Even “child protective services” is complicit.  Satan has so destroyed the institutions of marriage and family, meant to protect children, that we may as well be placing them into the flaming mouth of Molech just as the pagans of old (as well as the disobedient Israelites).

Child Sex Rings Reveal Unspeakable Acts of Power Elite (not graphic but very disturbing)

You wonder why huge scandals break, and then get scrubbed from media.  You wonder how a man who is not even a U.S. citizen can become president and stay president for four years, violate the constitution, and then be “re-elected”?  I would say that the number one reason that is possible is because everyone, and I do mean everyone who is in any position of power in the U.S. government, (or any government for that matter) probably has sins of their own which the powers-that-be are capable of exposing, and therefore those who could intervene, do not shed light for fear of their own deeds of darkness coming to light.

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. James 1:15

When you look at it from that perspective, God’s forebearance and patience are absolutely astounding!

We aren’t sinners because we sin.  We sin, because we are sinners.  Sin is like a deadly blood disease.  The Bible says that by one man, Adam, sin entered the world.  It entered the human race.  And the entire human race has been infected by it.  Sin is fatal.  It brings forth death.  We are enslaved to sin.  Following the law (trying to be good) cannot cleanse us or rid us of the defilement.  However, since as sinners we do sin, and sin must be punished, God provided a sacrificial lamb in the sinless God-man Jesus, to atone for and be the propitiation for our sin.

Sin against an infinite God must be paid infinitely. That is why payment for our
sin must be infinite. There are only two options for infinite payment. Either a
finite creature (man) must pay for his sin for an infinite amount of time, or an
infinite Being (Jesus) must pay for it once for all men for all time. There are
no other options. A sin against an infinitely holy God requires and equally
infinite satisfaction as payment, and even an eternity in hell will not
dissipate God’s infinite, righteous wrath against sin. Only a divine Being could
withstand the infinite wrath of a holy God against our sin. It requires an
equally infinite Being as a substitute for mankind to satisfy God’s wrath.
Jesus, as the God-man, fits the bill perfectly.–(Source)

Until you realize the deadly nature of what is inside you, you are unlikely to recognize your need to be saved from it.  I don’t think there are many people alive today who don’t realize this world is heading in a very bad direction.  Perhaps you can relate to what I have said in this post.  You recognize something in you that tends toward evil, and your need to be delivered from it’s power.  Call upon the name of the Lord, and be saved while there is still time.

 

 

 

Testimony Part III, the conclusion

Read Part I HERE ,    Part II Here

After all the heartbreak, the  shuffling and break down in churches we had experienced, I pretty much pulled aside and with much deliberation, mentally reviewed  everything I had ever heard or been taught in church.  I just began pulling it out “piece by piece” and asking, ”Lord, please show me the truth about this”, then going to scripture to search it out.  At the same time,  I also entered into on a period of fasting and prayer.  It was a little like Jacob wrestling the angel.  I needed some answers!  I experienced a great personal revival during that time, and the Lord began to really open up the scriptures to me.  It was early 2009 and our Nation was hitting the skids big-time;  that combined with the issues of the church, drove me to prayer in a way nothing ever had before, though prayer has always been a mainstay for me, especially after becoming a mom.

I love my country, and I love my God. One of the first things I discovered in examining my belief system, was that I had the two of those out of proper order.  I had more passion and ardor and was much more outspoken on political issues than the things of the Lord, and nearly equally well-versed in either.  So there was some repentance in order.   I asked the Lord to instill an insatiable hunger for the Word in me, and He did.  He also showed me that you can’t approach scripture expecting to figure it out via the intellect.  The Word is spiritually discerned.  The searching and prayer and (modified) fasting went on for several weeks, and stretched into months (fasting intermittant).   I ended up discarding some stuff I found was not actually supported in scripture, and most importantly, learning what it means to live a life filled and empowered by the Holy Spirit.   I also got a not-so-fun-course in what does NOT constitute being filled with the spirit.  There is a whole lot of that going around in the church, and we need discernment and knowledge of the Word in order to recognize and steer clear of it.

Coinciding with this season of prayer, was our 7th church.  We landed in a non-denominational church, not too far from home, and the whole family became very much involved right from the beginning.  People were  friendly and there was a relaxed camaraderie there.  This church had a praise band, like so many others do these days, but also did the old hymns and our family helped with technical aspects of music, sound and projection.  As the early weeks passed, and we gradually met everyone personally, there were two things that did trouble me.  One was that I began to feel very disconcerted in my spirit during the praise team portion of the music, and particularly when the leader of the praise team would speak.  The other was, there was one individual whom, when he introduced himself to me, just as he reached to shake my hand, I distinctly discerned a warning (? for lack of a better word to express it) in my spirit which startled me a bit.  It was this: “Beware of that one, he is an imposter”.

Now, I have to digress just a bit here, and say this.  I was raised with a very healthy dose of respect, nay even fear, of dabbling in anything even close to  psychic phenomenon or the occult.  I never played around with that stuff, though being a kid in the 70′s,  knew kids who had.  I did enjoy the TV show “Bewitched”, like most kids back then.  (That was the devil’s way, via his agent Hollywood, of desensitizing our generation in preparation for introducing Harry Potter to our kids).

When I was about 13, I experienced the first of what would be several instances wherein I would “know” something just before it took place.  It wasn’t a daily or constant thing, but happened a significant enough number of times to be considered a fairly “regular” occurence over the years. Here are some examples, and I give them not to glorify this in any way, but want to give enough for you to get a feel for what I experienced.

When I was in the 8th grade, my Grandparents on my Mom’s side, came down from West Virginia to stay with us a couple of days so that my grandfather could go to the Vetaran’s Administration Hospital and have some tests done.  I did not even know about the reason that they had come.  I just thought it was a visit.  When I left for school in the morning, (Jr. High was within walking distance), I remember having the oddest “thought” occur to me.  It was just suddenly there,  apropos of nothing, “Pawpaw is dead”.  It did not scare me, and I did not dwell on it.  I didn’t think, “I wonder if it’s true”.  It was a very matter-of-fact “knowing” of something that I really had no way of knowing.  When the school day was over, the friend I always walked to and from school with, happened to have an older brother that missed school that day.  He came up on his bike, and pulled the friend aside to tell her something in low tones in her ear, then left.   She didn’t say anything at first, we just continued to walk quietly along toward home, but I guess she started to feel a little guilty about knowing what her brother had told her, so she just blurted it out.  “Your grandpa died today.  He had a heart attack.  Mack heard the ambulance and went over there and saw them take him away”.  (Which did happen)

My response was “I know”!

I probably would not have remembered this, except that I kept a journal.  I still have it.

There was an incident next, while I was on a mission trip at age 15, but I have shared it on my blog before, so I’ll give a condensed version.  A group of us teens were on kitchen duty when one kid lost his grip on an army-sized pot of boiled noodles as he took them off the stove to strain off the water, and scalding water and sticky hot noodles poured all down his body.  Uncharacteristically there were none of the 6 leaders around.  Apparently by a fluke of miscommunication,  they had all left the building at the same time.  I, with zero first aid training and not normally assertive, took charge and started delegating.  “You and you, find leaders, you two guys take Pete (the injured) into the guys area and help him strip out of his clothes very carefully and wrap up in a towel, you two girls run upstairs to the apartment of the resident missionary and fill his tub with cold water, then you guys help Pete up there to get him submerged.  By the time they did so, leaders had been located, Pete went to the E. R. (we were in Scotland), the burns were only minor and the doctor was sort of amazed, stating that it was only because we had gotten him into the cold water to draw out the burn and cut short the reaction.  He wondered how I knew what to do.  I hadn’t!

The next incident was six years later.  This time I was at Grandma’s house in West Virginia, (only this time my grandma on my Dad’s side).  My friend June was visiting with me from PA.  We went for a long walk out the narrow road from Grandma’splace, to the old church and cemetery.  I guess it was a pretty long walk, and we took our time, picking wildflowers by the side of the road and enjoying the views out over the pastures and hills.  Before we knew it, the sun was starting towards setting, and my friend, not as long of leg as me and probably growing tired, asked, “are we going to make it back to the house before it gets dark?”  Without any conscious thought I said “my mom’s coming to get us”.  She gave me a funny look, and just then, we both saw the old Country Squire Station Wagon crest the most distant hill, headed toward us. She turned and said…”how did you know?”.  I just shrugged.  I didn’t know how I knew.

The next incident was in a car with a friend, we were coming around a blind turn, and I said “watch out, there is a police car right around the corner”.  There was, but there was no way for me to have known it, as we came around a 45 degree turn, around a solid brick church building sitting right on the very corner.   Once I was at a State Park, entering the women’s rest room, and just as I put my hand on the door to push it open, this thought popped into my mind ”there’s a man in there”.  I wasn’t startled that this “thought” that seemed to spontaneously originate from somewhere other than my own mind, was suddenly in there.   I simply ”knew it” with such certainty that I was flustered already, when the door suddenly swung  inward and a 30-ish man about the same height as me, nearly knocked me down as he exited.  His eyes got big as he sort of leapt backward, swung his head toward the door, and recognized he had gone into the wrong bathroom.  He turned pink and mumbled, “oh, excuse me” and rushed past me.

I  don’t want to glorify this in any way, and will give you my thoughts on why this happens to me, later on.  If I had to put a number on how many times in my 48 years that something like this happened, I would “ball-park” a number near a hundred.  Though I was never disturbed by these things, (it was as natural as breathing) I didn’t understand them, and I never told anyone until only a few years ago when I told my husband.  That was in the midst of the spiritual warfare I got into at Church #7.  What happened there was a beginning point for understanding God’s purpose for the phenomenon.

The pastor at Church #7 one day stated that he felt the Lord had laid it on his heart for someone to head up an intercessory ministry.  I had been keeping my eyes and ears open for whatspecific role God had for me in the new church, and the pastor’s request resonated immediately.   I prayed about it for confirmation, and stepped up the following Sunday to take it on.

The first thing I did was to pray about this intercessory team and ask the Lord to show me from the Word what intercession was all about.  Secondly I prayed for Him to assemble together (by calling) those He wanted on this team, and send them to me.  Meanwhile  I prayed, studied, and wrote down all the Lord was teaching me about intercessory prayer.  Week by week, one at  time, (separately) the Lord led 7 others to join the endeavor.   I made copies of what I had learned about intercession and either mailed or e-mailed that to each one.  This was not like the prayer chain concept.  This was a group meant to lift up the church itself, the leadership, and of course, also pray for any other needs conveyed to us via the leadership.  It just so worked out that no one but myself even knew who was on the team, not even the team-members knew who the others were.  Looking back it was strange none of the team even asked me who else was doing it.  Well, it was a good system.  That way, no gossip!  You just went and prayed ”in your prayer closet” and kept it between yourself and God.  Well it wasn’t long before the first monkey-wrench came flying into the works! It came in the form of my being confronted and challenged by an elder, who presumed to speak for all of the leadership and demand that I give him the names of who was on the intercessory team, and that the elders also know  what we were praying about.  My guard went up right away.  This had “satanic interference” written all over it.   As it turns out, it was the same guy I mentioned earlier (the “imposter”).  I did not agree, but since he was in leadership, and made an issue of it, I capitulated, against my own better judgment.  It led to exactly the problems I’d hoped to avoid by keeping everyone anonymous.  The other leaders couldn’t understand why the change, so I knew then, he’d misrepresented his demand as having come from the whole of leadership.   (I later learned this was not the first time he’d spoken out of turn, nor stirred up trouble with a female in the church.  It was a power thing).   He epitomized the fairly new believer placed in the role of elder prematurely in His Spiritual walk, who grew arrogant and misused the authority of the position. (See I Timothy 3:6)  This threatened to drive a wedge between me and the leadership.

As you can imagine, we dealt with serious and sensitive information.  And something got back to me that only someone on intercessory team should have known about.  Only, it came via someone NOT on the team.  That shattered the trust factor within the team, but I’m gettin ahead of myself. That actually hapened near the end of our time there, and was used of God for good in the final analysis.  There were a number of “situations” that came to light and sort of “broke open” during this period of prayer-cover.  It was a painful time for the body.

To be honest with you, I still have some unanswered questions about what I experienced during those 11 months or so. But it’s not unusual for God to take me through something and still be explaining it to me long beyond the other side of it.   Definitely it was spiritual warfare.  I got to know 5 of these ladies pretty well; they were sincere, committed to prayer, real “prayer warriors”, as many would call them.  Some were more rooted in the Word than others.  The more rooted they were, the quieter they were, I noticed.   There was one of them, who I had some concerns about, but I still knew God sent her.   I prayed one-on-one with 5 out of the 7 at some point during the year, and two of them frequently.  I trusted  them.  One of them I had known for decades, she was and still is, like family to me, as are all the body of that church.  One came from a “holiness” background, and practiced what she called a “prayer language”.  I’ve been around that in churches before, and pretty much accepted it, even experimented with it myself, but I have since searched that out in scripture and thus far I don’t see it supported there, except by abandoning context, so I don’t practice it.  (As for “tongues” and interpretations, that’s a different thing and I’ve posted on it previously).

Being the head of this team, I found myself privy to a whole bunch of “inside information”.  There I was again, facing the underbelly.  Not only that, but since I was the only one that the congregation knew was on the team, I got calls and requests, and people confided in me from every direction.  Not only that, but God had me in this unique position that only He could have orchestrated, wherein if a problem existed in a marriage in the church, I was hearing from both sides, and if a problem existed between two individuals or parties, I was hearing from both sides on that, as well.  I’m pretty sure not even the pastor or elders knew some of what I knew.  Here I was, a relative outsider compared to the long history of most of the others, without some of the biases and baggage, and God sort of raised me to a place I could see a “big picture” version of things.

Now, I’m a nurse by trade, and we nurses are fixers.  It was hard to pray, and not be tempted to try to play reconciler or mediator. Having been the victim of painful church gossip, I was ultra-careful to guard my tongue, and it was a stressful walk on eggshells for a long period.

I prayed, and prayed some more.  I prayed for the church body (local and corporate), for our country, for the individuals, for myself, and continued to maintain a schedule of regular fasting days, just to maintain “cover” in this spiritual warfare.  There also came to light a history of an incident wherein one of the young adults, had experienced an encounter with a demonic entity in that building when she was about 13.  I got bits and pieces of this account from 4 different first-hand  sources, including the “girl” who by that time, was 21, her mother (on separate occasion) and the church secretary who was one of the intercessors.  The young girl and a few other kids had been upstairs, when adults downstairs heard screams.  When one adult got up there and asked what was wrong, the kids told  her they had seen this scary man who had appeared and talked to them.  The young girl (now 21) told me she had asked “it” “what’s your name” and it gave her a name, which she still remembered and which she told me.  I will not name it, but I went home and did a search , and found several instances of the name, always a demonic being, either on fan-fiction pages, dark comic-type things, or sites that had mystic and occult themes.  In Wikipedia, I found the name belonging to an obscure demigod in mythological lore.

I  later learned that 2 others in the intercessory team had been there years ago one day when another lady had spent several hours in the chapel upstairs, praying with a lady, “casting out a demon”.  This ”session” went on for several hours, apparently.  The two ladies both said they were not real comfortable about being in on it at the time, but the lady sort of didn’t give them much choice.  This happened before the kids saw the “entity”.  To top that off, the praise leader told us that when he came in early on practice nights to turn on all the lights, it was not uncommon for him to “see a dark figure running from the stage as the lights came on.  He said at first he thought someone was in the building but when he searched, no one was there and that after a while he just got used to it.  Several of this church were exiles from previous church splits where the  leaders had subscribed to  Word-Faith and “New Apostolic” leanings.  Unlike a lot of people these days, I don’t believe in going around rebuking Satan.  Jesus when he walked this Earth as a human, and the Apostles never engaged Satan directly.  Jesus just quoted the Word, and the Archangel Michal said ”The Lord rebuke thee” (Jude 1:9).    Some of the apostles when they addressed demons, had the demons say, “Jesus I know, and Paul, but who are you?”.  In my opinion you gotta be a fool to tussle with the second most intelligent and powerful being in the Universe, behind God Himself.  There are a lot of places I will go, but I’m not going there!  The scripture gives us power to trample on snakes and scorpions, but not Dragons!

Well, I could go on and on about the bizarre stuff that was unearthed, but confidentiality prevents me from giving any more detail than that on the off-chance of somehow  divulging things that are private, potentially harmful to someone’s reputation and/or just better left unsaid.

Because all this was so heavy, and dark, I didn’t dare let down my guard in prayer.  It was constant. (Pray without ceasing).  I saw and heard things first hand, that made me know there were some spiritual forces at play that were definitely not the heavenly kind, and practices that, while they may or may not all have been harmful, simply had no basis in the Word.   I believe that God called the intercessory team together for a prayer cover that would see  that church through some treacherous spiritual “minefields” and  a major transition that took place during that time.   After being at this for many months, pressing through resistance, diffusing conflicts, and knowing way more than I ever wanted to about  duplicity and contradiction in the lives of some professing Christians,  I had begun to ask the Lord to release me from the role I was in, but it was a few more weeks before I felt Him lift the burden of it off of me.  We really could not remain there under circumstances.  I frankly knew too much about too many people there and that was emotionally too much for me.  I did not share 99 percent of these things even with my husband while it was going on.

Even before God had released us from the role He had us to play there,  I was laying in bed one night and was awoken by the Lord with a sense of urgency and the overshadowing presence of the Holy Spirit that was so obvious that  I was just overwhelmed by it.  With a real sense of “the fear of the Lord” I dropped prostrate onto the floor by my bed and began to pray.  I had a clear impression that some major and all-encompassing ”something”was heading our way.  It made the hair on the back of my neck prickle, and I  intuitively knew I needed to submit to the Lord in whatever was coming and let Him prepare me.  I didn’t know then, if it was something involving just our family, or something much broader, but I do know that my concern for this nation, my concern for the corporate church as a whole, and my kid’s future in this world, were weighing extremely heavily on my heart by this point.  This up-close-and-personal encounter with the Holy Spirit told me without a doubt it was serious business.  Not to over- dramatize, but what comes to mind is that passage in Revelation at the breaking of the last seal, when there was silence in Heaven “the space of a half an hour”.  I was literally rendered mute.  My husband was of course awakened by my movement, and knew I was praying. (It wasn’t unusual for him to find me on my knees by the bed in the middle of the night during that period)  When I got up, he asked what was wrong, and I couldn’t talk.  Even when I could speak again, it was not easy to put it into words.    Where I had always paid a lot of attention to politics, and news, the Lord placed in me that night, an insatiable hunger to study prophecy, and to follow world news, particularly in the Middle East and Israel, and understand it “through the prophetic lens” of scripture.

Here, 3 years later from that Holy Spirit encounter, I know that preparation (and all our first-hand eye-witnessing of disintegration in the church) was for “such a time as this” and I am equally convinced that the prolonged exacerbation of symptoms lasting several months the first half of this year, was instrumental in God’s plan for me to start this blog during that period of confinement at home.  The first thing I did was to post several pages of stuff I had previously written, and it just progressed from there.  Through this blog God has introduced me to other people whom He has called to do the same.

I am not a prophet. (Not the foretelling kind, anyway).   Some people at that 7th church tried to cast me in that role.  There is this hue and cry today, people wanting signs and wonders.  They want to hear some “anointed one” make pronouncements of “prophetic significance” over them, and “give them a word from the Lord”.   What I knew, and shared, was straight out of scripture, (that is THE Word from the Lord) but I guess they were not familiar enough with it to recognize it as such.  I had applied myself to prayerful study and seeking the Lord over the situation, and He gave me insight and answers.  Mostly I was just sharing God’s Biblical Principles.  But because they had been exposed to so much “New Apostolic Reformation” and “word-faith” teachings, it was like that was their only paradigm.  It didn’t compute.  I tried to explain the difference, and encourage them to go to the Word themselves.  (By them, I mean the intercessors, but in some cases the pastor, and the elders seemed unfamilir with basic scriptural principles, in resolving conflict, for one example).

To this day I believe that what happened there was God eventually got through to some, he removed others from that church, (including our family because His job for us there was done), and yes there were some who dug their heels in and deflected all reproof.  God also exposed my husband and me to what we experienced so that we would recognize subtle error for what it was (the little bit of leaven that has leavened the whole lump).  After that there was a brief period without a church home, and that is when God introduced us to Pastor Mike Hoggard and Bethel Church’s online ministry.  By that exposure, we learned what to look for when we searched a church’s website and doctrinal statements, and we learned a lot about the role the abundance of Bible “translations” was playing in the confusion.  God put Jeremiah 6:16 in front of our faces and in our ears again and again like a neon sign.  And that settled it for us.  I share all of this because I think there are a lot of people out there who find themselves in similar situations when it comes to trying to find a stable church that is grounded in the Word.  They’re growing pretty darn scarce and people feel torn between staying in a church where they recognize something isn’t right, but can’t put their finger on it, or they are getting tired of searching, church-hopping, and losing hope of finding a solid grounded church.

With new understanding, God led us to a Dispensational, Pre-Millennial,  Independent Fundamental Baptist church that sticks to the old paths, and has stayed with the King James Bible.  I’ve covered the King James ”debate” elsewhere, but in short, I don’t consider myself “King James only” but rather, “King James preferred”.  The issue in my opinion being that some versions of the Bible out there that started out okay, have grown more removed from accuracy with each succeeding “edition”, while some “paraphrases” take so much liberty as to omit whole portions and change meanings altogether, and since I have neither the time nor inclination to personally vet the nearly innumerable versions and perversions of the Bible, I stick with my old King James, and it’s the only one I recommend if I’m asked.  There are much more scholarly reasons, though, which I have heard and personally find credible, but since I am far from an expert, I will leave that to people much more knowledgeable than myself, to argue or defend.

As for the instances of “premonition” that  I experience from time to time, this is what I came to conclude:  I believe that God initially created us with much more “ability” than we have now.  Corruption equals loss.  With original sin, mankind fell subject to decay. We didn’t evolve, but frankly in probably more ways than we know, we have “de-volved”.  I think even at the flood, things changed in earth’s environment that may have altered some of our functional abilities and the way we interact with the environment.  That’s just speculation on my part, but I think we all probably retain vestiges of those earlier abilities.  Some of that “horse-sense” and “instinct” that remains intact and functional in the animal kindom.  I also think that some people have– not ESP–but a hyper-sense of awareness, and are ultra-sensitive in ways that cause them to pick up on and take note of details others miss. Sometimes it is just a nudge from God because we are not engaged, and paying attention.   And lastly, I believe that at times God does alert us to something that is about to happen, but it is not for the purpose of making us a spokesperson or messenger of God.  I think it is often because He plans to use us in a specific way, in a circumstance He knows is going to arise, and because He has a role for us to play.  The “heads up” gets us ready, so that then when the thing happens, we are standing by with knowledge or experience that some person is going to need in order to avoid an error, or an accident, or harm; with comfort for someone hurting, because we know what it is like to hurt; or with encouragement because God knows that person can achieve or survive or overcome, and  wants them to believe it too.  That would also explain why the “knowing” thought occurs just moments before the event.

You might ask why, then, He would alert me my Mom was coming in the car, or that a man was in the woman’s restroom. The answer:  Training!  So I would learn to recognize and trust the prompting and the “knowing” when the crucial thing happens later, and respond accordingly.  God does not pour vast revelation upon people today.  His Word is written and complete.  But He is the head, and we are the body,  so it seems only natural for Him to send a “signal” to alert the hand about what He is getting ready to have the hand do.

Make sense?

Psychic stuff, divining, consulting “familiar spirits” are forbidden in the Bible, and so-called personal “words of knowledge” from the Lord via a third-party,  are not necessary.  God can speak directly to whom He wills to speak and doesn’t need you or me as a go-between.  But where do you think Satan gets his material?  He isn’t capable of anything original.  Everything he does is an evil counterfeit of something real and good.    There is a “speaking in tongues” out there that is demonic.  If there is, in this present dispensation a version of it which is ”of God”, I can only say, I have not witnessed it, He didn’t give it to me, and the scripture does indeed say “tongues will cease” and prophecies “will fail” (I Corinthians 13:8).  However, this close to the Tribulation, and Daniels seventieth week (the return to God’s dealings with Israel) if it is going to happen again, it will be  in relation to, and preparation for that.  It’s not for me to worry about, but I will warn people the counterfeit version of it is rampant in the church today and people seeking signs and wonders are falling prey, and getting drawn into demonic manifestations and worse.  That is probably what invited the demonic manifestations in Church  I believe ther#7 and part of the purpose for the intercessory team and all that prayer was for routing it out, not by confrontation and rebuke: Not by might, nor by power, but by MY Spirit, saith the Lord”.

I was never more relieved to be released from a God-given assignment, even though I knew there were good and sincere people whom I loved that were still mixed up in it.   I trust the Lord to lead them out in His time, as long as they remain sincere in seeking Him, He will lead them to  truth and understanding.

When I read Ezekiel 1 the other day and started writing about all of this, I continued over to chapter 3, and  saw that I had bracketed verse 21 and written a date in the outer margin that was about the time when we left that troubled last church.  It says “Nevertheless, if thou warn the righteous that the righteous man sin not, and he doth not sin, he shall surely live, because he is warned; also thou hast delivered thy soul.  Backing up, verse 20 talks about “when a righteous man turns from his righteousness, and commits iniquity, I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die because thou has not given him warning”.  The date in the margin was 2/7//11. Incidentally 2 is a number associated in the Scriptures with division and unity.  7 is the number of completion.  And 11 is a number associated with judgment.  This is not numerology.  I am referring to documented patterns in the King James Bible. The date God directed my attention to this seemed to confirm it had to do with that experience.   There was a division in that church.  There was a sincere love of the Lord, and desire to be in His will, yet it was contaminated by the presence of some prideful issues, error mixed in with truth, and history of influences that were less than holy.  God was trying to call them back. Verse 22 begins telling of a time when the hand of the Lord was upon Ezekiel because He had a warning for Ezekiel to deliver, and him falling on his face before the Lord.  Then verse 24 says “Then the spirit entered into me, and set me upon my feet, and spake with me, and said unto me, Go, shut thyself within thy house.  And verse 26b is underlined:   ”and I will make thy tongue cleave to the roof of thy mouth and thou shalt be dumb and shall not be to them a reprover, for they are a rebellious house. (In other words, though God sent Ezekiel as a reprover, the would not receive the warning)  27: But when I speak with thee, I will open thy mouth, and thou shalt say to them, Thus saith the Lord, He that heareth, let Him hear; and he that forebeareth, let him forebear, for they are a rebellious house”  God directed me to this passage right after we  had left.    I believe God led me to this passage as a sort of “de-briefing” after that experience, to help me see in hindsight, what He didn’t deem needful for me to fully understand while I was in the thick of it.  There were issues in that church that needed to be addressed, there were warnings that needed to be given, and even some very serious and grave matters I would not dare mention here,  which God in His grace, was  bringing out of darkness and into the light so that truth could set some people free of bondage.

Even in Judgment, God remembers mercy!

The number in scripture associated with “A new beginning” is 8.  The church with the old paths, Church #8, has been a new beginning for us!

 

Another Very Telling E-book download Conspiracy Against All Religions And Governments Of Europe

English: Novus Ordo Seculorum (1 US$) Illuminati conspiracy in the U.S.A. Česky: Novus Ordo Seculorum (1 US$) Spiknutí Iluminátů v USA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Proofs of a conspiracy against all the religions and governments of Europe        1 edition

By John RobisonProofs of a conspiracy against all the religions and governments of Europe carried on in the secret meetings of Free masons, Illuminati and reading societies, collected from good authorities4th ed. To which is added, a postscript.

Are you gay? God loves you, but that’s not all you need to know.

The tagline on my blog says “Deep and Wide, Willing to Go There”.   People who know me would tell you that I am willing to wade in deeper than most people, willing to be open, speak frankly and from the heart, and inclined to say what needs saying, even on the difficult subjects.  Satan loves to snare people via sexuality.  We know the statistics are staggering,  human trafficing,  pedophelia, pornograpy,  homosexuality.  At one time these perversions were mostly the arena of men.  The Bible told us that in the last days, even women would turn from the natural use of their bodies and lust after other women.  Look at the local sex-offender regisry and you will find out that plenty of women are now being arrested as child sex-predators.   A growing number of women also have become addicted to pornography.   Folks, the hour is late and we no longer have the luxury of tip-toeing around the uncomfortable realities.  All sin is an abomination to a Holy God and we are all sinners who cannot save ourselves.  The link that I am sharing with you below is a video by a 22 year-old young woman who came out of homosexuality and addiction to pornography by the saving grace of Christ four years ago.  This video is her personal testimony-in poetic form and there is a message in there that needs to be heard.  Having said that, I warn you that it deals with some mature and sensitive subject matter and does so in a way some will find shocking. (That is why I have posted a link rather than uploading the video itself.)  The scriptures are clear that light hath no fellowship with darkness.  I do not condone the tendency in the church today to employ street slang and profanity in an attempt to be “relevent” and for the shock value of it.  Having said that, I go on record as saying that I do not get the impression that is what Jackie was doing when she made this video. In fact there is another of her videos I will share next week that shows exactly her same boldness in confronting a church grown lax and compromised.

When someone has been trapped in a sinful lifestyle, it takes time for God to address all the nooks and crannies.  It can take a while before he teaches us His way of doing things, including maybe some  of the words and phrases we use to express ourselves.  At four years into her walk with the Lord, Jackie is a work in progress just like the rest of us.  She might have been better off to have left out some of the details, but  I am not sure Miss Hill could have told her particular story so powerfully had she told it any other way.  You can make things ”pretty” or you can leave them real.  I prefer real even if it ain’t pretty!

 This video is not for everybody. That’s ok.  Jackie knows to whom she is speaking.  More importanly, those whom it will resonate with, will recognize whether her message is meant for them.  If you  choose to watch it, I only ask one thing: cringe if you must, but give it a chance beyond the first minute or two, and see it through to the very end.

I think………no, I know it takes courage to be real in today’s “fake reality show” plastic world, and I admire Jackie’s willingness to offer up her honest heart, raw.  She has embraced her role as the new creature in Christ that she is, and has set out to rescue others from the trap she was freed from.  God Bless You Jackie!

Jackie Hill -Testimony

Jackie Hill’s website